You ever have conversations in your head with important people where you get to change the course of events? Here’s one of mine:
So I’m on the phone with my girl Angie and I say, girlfriend, we gotta send one back to you. The Drumpf family from Kallstadt, you know? They are majorly destroying the United States.
And Angie, she says, Get a grip, girl. This is 2018, not 1938. You can’t emigrate here if you, like, hang out with Neo-nazis and support all that racist rhetoric. We got laws here, and those laws say you cannot go around calling other people’s countries “shitholes” and stuff. And you can’t be posting ani-Jewish images on your social media, and you can’t surround yourself with that kind of trash, neither.
But, Angie, I say, think of the Marshal plan. Didn’t we save anyone in your family from starving? Your mom, maybe or your grandpa. This Drumpf guy wants to get rid of all public institutions and only his friends get to have jobs, and, like, you know. We’re sending him back to Kallstadt.
And Angie is all, he can visit but it’s a five-day visa. He overstays, we arrest him in front of his little boy.
And I’m like, I’m down with that Angie. Totally.